Thoughts on a Plane

On a wing and a prayer I decided two weeks ago to book a ticket and fly out to California because why not right? I have a legit reason okay,...a boy. And I know the parents reading this are probably saying in their mind, "Is that really a responsible thing to do...for a boy?" But I reply back with, "It's my life, let me live!" So prior to the actual trip, the way to get to California would easily be by plane, which is the kind of ticket I booked, but I didn't realize that the plane part would take a toll on my mental capacity. I realized that the idea of going to California was awesome, but the reality of me being alone, on a plane and passing through an airport in New York City was not cute [boo boo]. So naturally because I'm a cancer and my name is Madison, I had some major anxiety before my flights. I decided as a way to ease my anxiety, I would find humor in my pain. I decided to write down my thoughts on the plane. My thoughts during takeoff, mid flight and landing. These thoughts are from my first flight to my first layover in Chicago. I hope you enjoy.

Takeoff: 

Alright you are still on the ground, no big deal.

*engines go and plane starts cruising*

Oh shoot, here we go! CHEW THAT GUM.

Madison don't look at the ground!

*peeps* Don't peep!

*peeps again* Madison if you keep peeping, you're gonna get yourself in trouble!

Oh damn, we're really going up. Bitch you are in the clouds! I pray these pilots can see right now because I can't! 

You know what, this is kind of beautiful....just kidding this is scary af. Just get me there safe Jesus.

If I see a planet I'm done.

Mid-Flight: 

This is beautiful! And sketchy as hell!  We are over land right?

Bitch where are we going? And when will we level off! 

These people are waking around and sleeping....do they not realize it looks like we're ascending! How do they do this?

It looks like we're going so slow...And I have two hours left...

Ooo I'm passing through Canada! 

I really need to pee, but I don't want to get up...

Oh shoot...are we turning? Because I'm facing the window with a better view to the ground...!

Oh no...I'm seeing a large body of blue! WTF I did not sign up for this! GIRRRLL

The ocean literally looks like glass or tissue paper.

Where is land?!?!??

Landing:

Land! 

You can't see a damn thing out this window...how the hell can you fly through this?!

*ladies bracelets rattle for the 7000 time* If this ladies bracelets keep rattling, I'm gonna rip them off her and throw them out my damn window!

Yo it's so white up here now......God?

YAS landing soon! *insert ghetto rap music that pumps you up*

I'm going to sing church hymns when I get off this flight.

DESCENDING. Lord get me to the land.

Do you think the air pockets are angels giving the plane a high five?

Wait...do planes have brakes? For what! They're in the sky, not the ground!

*lands after threatening my life twenty times* #BLESSED

I hope some can relate. All the best wishes on your future endeavors, Lord knows I could use the best wishes.

#BLESSED