Living With Anxiety

It's like a contract you can't get out of. The loneliest feeling in the world. You feel trapped. You can't sleep. You feel prisoner to your own mind. This is my anxiety. For this past week I've been dealing with a really bad bout of anxiety. So bad to where it's affecting my sleep. Why so bad this time? Well, considering I'm only 18, this is my first time away from home and being on my own. And before, I would go sleep near my parents to feel better. But this time, I'm alone. Completely alone. And this loneliness is killing me on the inside out. For the past couple of days I've had some really bad headaches. And I know exactly where they are from, stress and my anxiety. I've been so hooked on drugs, from Aleeve for my recent back pain, to zzzquill to then melatonin and ibuprofen to try and get rid of my headache. I'm a mess. And I'm only writing this blog to build a sense of community for myself because I know I'm not alone. I can pick out three of my friends easily who deal with insomnia and after calling some family, I can list some members too. I wouldn't necessarily say I have insomnia, but my anxiety is so bad that I'm claiming I have these issues to derail from the true problem, my thoughts. I've talked to my counselor and she gave me some really great tips. I actually used these earlier this week and I slept like a baby. Try lavender as an aroma therapy, it's a soothing scent. Also try chamomile tea before bed and try to eat at least 2-3 hours before bed too. Let me correct myself in saying melatonin is not a drug, it's a natural supplement and taking it a little before bed definitely helps. Just be careful not to take too much because you can feel drowsy the next day, especially if you have insomnia. She also recommended the most important tip that I recommend even if you don't have anxiety, meditation. Meditation is all about the power of thought and being present in the moment. Taking time to just be. This is so important for my anxiety because it allows me to not worry about today, yesterday or tomorrow. It helps me to just notice the sensations in my body and to just relax and breath. In these moments I feel the most at peace and the most acceptant of myself. It's amazing. And VERY relaxing. If meditation doesn't work, my counselor is all about tapping. Tapping is a brain relaxing technique where you tap at specific points repeating the same phrase three times simultaneously. You start at the side of you hand, tapping with two fingers saying, "Even though I have all this anxiety, I fully and lovingly accept myself." After three times, you move onto the next spot. It may seem weird, but it works wonders. And if you're in public, tap the tips of your fingers to look less weird. Overall, this whole mess has taught me about the power of thought. My boyfriend says that if you can't sleep at night, it's because God is trying to talk to you. And I believe He is. I spend at least three hours a week worrying about my past, my present and my future. Especially my future in relation to my goals and my dreams. I am impatient and I can get very negative. With my sleep, I've been getting very negative when all I want to do is just sleep and not worry about it. It's as simple as just telling myself not to worry and sleep will come. This is exactly how I have to view my anxiety in life. I cannot control my success, I can only put into the universe what I want and trust it will come. Unfortunately not on my time, but to worry is pointless because it can come sooner by not worrying. Sadly my sleep has been messed up, but I'm thankful that I'm learning how important the power of thought is. Can anyone relate to this? If so, please share this to show others, like it and comment. I could really use even more of a sense of community. And if you're interested about tapping, check out my counselors site here: http://genarotas.com. Sweet dreams!