If It Ain't Broke Don't Fix It

Have you ever boughten a candy bar? You know that moment where you're so excited and your whole day has culminated to this moment right when you get your candy bar and you pull back that shiny label only to find out your candy bar is broken in half. The worst moment in a humans walk of life. It's like all this pent up excitement is put to waste because you spent your hard earned money on a candy bar that's broken. Thanks Hershey! I was thinking this week, that's exactly how we look at life sometimes. For me, I grew up with a mom and a dad that were never together. It was young love, an instant attraction that felt as if the world was finally perfect when they were together. They were so in love they wanted to have a baby. And then I popped out nine months after the thought on a beautiful Sunday morn. Of course as a baby I had no idea what I was getting myself into. It wasn't until I started to develop a memory and started to speak that I noticed the divide between my parents. During the pregnancy things broke off and from then on the relationship was torn. Families were divided and I started to feel the effects of it. From having two Christmases (which I didn't mind), to having two different birthdays, to having two different occasions during most of my life, it was hard for me to accept that my family wouldn't be the perfect image I wanted it to be. Not only was the family image not perfect, but neither was the relationship with my father or my fathers side. I mentioned it briefly in a previous blog, but still to this day the relationship with my father and that side are not the way I would want things to be. And I've always battled with this. Before high school, I battled with depression. In my counseling I realized most of my psychological issues were based on me dealing with my father and that broken relationship. My counselor told me that my father does love me, but he is incapable of loving. I didn't understand, but I knew I had to accept it. And now almost six years later I do. Of course I want to have a big happy family, but like another counselor once said to me, when we are all babies in heaven, we chose who our mommy and daddy are. And for some reason I chose the mom, dad and stepdad I did. I never understood why life gave me the family I have, not really until now. Previously I wrote a blog on my mom and stepdads divorce. I finally realize all the pain and struggles of not having the perfect family were only building blocks and tools to teach me how to help my little brother deal with the divorce. The thing I tell my brother is you can't chose who's your blood family, but you can chose and make your own family throughout life. And that's true for life in general. You can't bargain with God before you're born where you want to be planted in the world and what credit score your parents have, you're just born. You can chose and make what you want your life to be. I want my life to be happy. The saying for this blog is if it ain't broke don't fix it. Be happy with the life you have. And if you feel broken, patch up the issues or leave it be for another time. I want to eventually have a relationship with my father, but I feel I need to focus on what really makes me happy right now first. Also, if you get a broken candy bar, realize you at least have the money to buy it and it'll still taste good. Just don't think about the calories. That's when everything goes downhill. ;)