The New Normal

I ask myself all the time if I'm normal. Why? Well, I've been away from the blog really soaking up the fact that I'm an adult now and I have to do adult things. I cry endlessly, consumed with stress, anxiety and all this worry about my future. Is this normal? When I allow myself a cheat day, I kind of go all out. One time while in my quant New York apartment, I had eleven mint Oreos, a glass of almond milk and half of a giant Reese's Peanut Butter Cup Easter egg. I found myself asking the same question, is this normal? When I started my eating disorder, I went from normal to abnormal within a matter of months. I went from eating two plates of food to one and then a full portion to half. One time as I was nibbling on my chocolate chip granola I asked myself yet again, is this normal? I think as people we look at each others lives and ask ourselves "Am I normal?." We as people are so caught up in other peoples business, that we look at our own and judge ourselves. I only say this because this is how I look at my life. I live in the city of cities, the land of opportunity. I find myself now seeing other people's successes and their opportunities and look at myself and judge myself on what I am and am not doing. Just look at Facebook. Why do most people have Facebook? Some may say it's for those hilarious meme videos or to catch up with family. But, honestly I know most people use Facebook as a self-confidence booster. A source to promote the good and discard the bad. Like this blog. I could sit and write about all the amazing things God has done in my life and all the great things I have going for me. This is great once in awhile, but I'm on this blog to be honest and hit hardcore feelings that I'm sure many others have. I feel so out of balance in my emotions and I'm genuinely on the blog to ask, Am I normal? Ask yourselves, is what I post on Facebook normal (and honest)? Is the food I'm eating normal? Is what I'm doing in life normal? I think the answer to everything is no. It's no because there's no real definition of normal. My advice is to live in your normal. Don't look at other's successes or failures, don't worry about others diets, and don't worry about the future (seriously, it sucks), just live in your normal. I'm going to TRY and live in my normal and balance these crazy feelings. And maybe one day you may see a bad Facebook post, but you'll probably have to scroll past all the hilarious meme's your mom, aunt and third cousin post.