Madison The Virgin

 

Hi, my name is Madison Thibodeau and I am a virgin to life. Yes, of course at 18 I wouldn't expect people to think I've been through it all. I can't even tell you what I'll be enduring in my future, but hopefully it doesn't entail a couple stays in rehab, three pregnancies and some trips to jail. But, in my future I would like to experience things, you know, adult like. At 18, I would say I have been through a lot psychologically. From dealing with my father, to depression, to hormones (every girl can relate), to dealing with my eating disorder, I would say mentally I have been through it all and have matured so much for the better. When I first moved here and started to get to know people, I mainly bonded with many by sharing previous experiences. Some of these people were years older than me, so I couldn't relate on every level, but a lot of simple things that seem like they could be experienced by someone of my age, were even some things I couldn't relate to. Things like a previous relationship, sex or partying. Things that the "typical" teen goes through now adays. Specifically with sex is where I get the biggest reaction with. Yes, I am still a virgin and am not ashamed to admit it. But, when I tell others this, they look at me like I just grew a second head in mid conversation, they're stunned. My question to them is what's the big deal? Sure I'm picky a little and still have that unpromising hope for that "special guy," but my virginity shouldn't define me as a person. And the biggest thing that bothers me is once I tell others this, I'm immediately labeled as a baby. Why does my virginity associate me to the category of a child? And why does a person who has had sex automatically get labeled as an adult? Obviously you are doing an adult deed when you do the deed, but just because I haven't done the deed yet, doesn't mean that I am less of a person intellectually or maturity wise. Isn't it better for a girl to be a little more kept back rather than all over the place and out there? I'm not saying I think people who have had sex are worse of a person or are dirty people, but some people, especially teenagers who hit high school get this mental agenda that before the graduate they HAVE to have sex. But, what is the point? Some girls and guys fall in love and have sex, normal. But, for the girls who party and just want to experience what sex is, what's the point? What's the point if you can't remember his name? What's the point if you can't even stand straight cause you're so drunk? What's the point if you get an STD? I may be thinking too deep into this, but I know myself mentally and I know that if that was me, it would eat me up inside. And even with partying, I get that it's fun to let loose sometimes and just have a good time, which I definitely want to experience, but what's the point if it's every night and it's with people who could care less about you or your safety. I found in high school that many people partied just as a filler. A way to make themselves feel important and "cool." But in my opinion, what is cool is the idea of occasionally having a good time, but knowing when to say yes and no. And I also noticed that at the end of my senior year, most of the girls looked a little bigger than their freshman selves (but that's none of my business). Like the partying and sex, comes this idea of relationships too. I want to experience love ad having a best friend to talk to and be with, but I'd rather be fully ready for a relationship and feel good about who I'm with then just to aimlessly get together with someone who's fun and relatively attractive. Once again, what's the point? I get the idea that it taught you a lesson and now you know what to look for, but what's the point if you regret having sex with them and would never do that again, literally. And you may look at me and say, "What's the point of thinking this deep into things, you should just enjoy yourself." I do enjoy my life, actually. I enjoy the thought that I can look back on the things I haven't experienced or said no to and get excited for what's to come. I know bright things are ahead of me and more maturing is to come, but just because I haven't done the deed, gotten wasted or kind of liked a guy for a while, doesn't mean I'm not a mature 18 year old. I would say I'm just like someone who has experienced things like that. In the same as you learn from the experience, I learn from the way of observing and consuming from others experiences. When  someone says, "be careful for this kind of guy or this kind of thing at a party," I know what to look for. Just be you really, and learn for yourself. Give advice, but be respectful for others. Ask questions and take advice as well. If I had to give advice I would say patience is key (obviously, right). You know what they say, absence makes the heart grow fonder.